Surgeon General's Warning: drinking South Asian tea may lead to journalling that can be hazardous to your health
12.22.2002

Now look what I've gone and done. By playing on the internet in the middle of the night when any self-respecting person would be sleeping or screwing or both simultaneously, I have written myself into a bind. I must now found the International Federation of Bisexual Shadow Boxers, if only so that I have a reason to store 5 pounds of fluid internally on short notice. I also need to consider just what location on the human body you could place a spigot without a judge who is anything but legally blind pointing out "excuse me ma'am, but there's a spigot jutting from your forehead".

Perhaps that's the answer. Perhaps the judges for the IFBSB shall all be legally blind, thus freeing members to position corks, tubes, faucets, spigots, funnels, and siphons wherever they deem appropriate and currently fashionable.

Of course, I'll have to found the IFBSB quickly. Now that I've had back surgery to correct this pesky disk herniation, I will hopefully undisable myself in 6 to 8 weeks. The disadvantage to being declared undisabled is I must then get a real job with a tangible paycheque, which subsequently means I have far less time to idly ramble on in writing while waiting for the homecare nurse to show up and change my dressings. Perhaps if I instigate a membership fee to the IFBSB, I can drum up enough income to be considered a bona fide entrepreneur.

Nah. Too much math. I can't even correctly count change for bus fare, let alone taxable income for the self-employed. Maybe this impending new year is the time to plan on marrying a fossilised gazillionaire. Hell, I don't need marriage, I'll settle for being a kept woman. I couldn't let that get out, though. The membership of the IFBSB would be devastated to find their leader so diminished and so without pride. Delusion is a necessary component to unwavering loyalty, after all.

All this because I let the nameless-to-protect-his-identity diary-promoting wonder bribe me with chai latté. Let that be a warning to you all: cinnamonny goodness contains mind-altering properties.


make idle gossip (0 comments so far)

come hither - back off


Last 5 entries:
01.14.2007:Finally, a support group we can all get behind
01.09.2007:The City That Ever Reeks
01.08.2007:Waiter, there's a uterus in my soup
01.03.2007:Long Lost Mummy of Nefertiti Found in Smoog's Apartment
12.30.2006:New Year's resolutions we can actually keep



Hosted by Diaryland

© 2002-2007
Latest Entry
Older Entries
Random Entry
Smoog's Bio
Smoog's Profile
The Many Eyes of Smoog
Email Smoog
Smoog's Guestbook

My RSS feed:


Want to be notified of new entries? Then gimme your email or I'll shoot!



Interesting blog stuff:
Rick Mercer
Tomato Nation
Dooce
The Rik Files
Miss Snark
Scavella's Blogsphere
Leebo Zeebo
Wingtips
Surroundings
Words For My Enjoyment
Stucking Fupid
TranceJen
GolfWidow
biensoul
bluemeany
cuppajoe
haloaskew
heidiann
hissandtell
juddhole
ann-frank
groovy-decay
kungfukitten
luvabeans
madamepierce
marn
not-a-finger
porktornado
chickie-legs
reynedecoupe
smartypants
fuzzy-grey
twelvebeer
unclebob
weetabix




Make Smoog feel special.

Cavort 'til something falls off!
Oooh, beer.
Globe of Blogs
Blogarama - The Blog Directory


Blog Flux Directory

Humor Blog Top Sites
stumbleupon toolbar

Rate Me on BlogHop.com!
the best pretty good okay pretty bad the worst help?