We interrupt this rant to, um, rant about something else

Why is it that when a dude rants, it's a rant, but when a broad rants, it's a whine?

At first I thought it was all about the voice, man. Women are fucked by high voices. It makes their rants sound shrill and bitchy instead of deep-seated and powerful. I always thought people paid more attention to me when I had a chest cold.

*foghorn rant*
And in conclusion - *flexes biceps* - urg urg urg.
*wild applause from the masses*

If there is a brainstorming session amongst a group of 6 or 8 or 15 people, males and females interspersed, a woman's ideas are far more commonly completely ignored. In fact, quite often people will just keep talking over her or interrupting her, dismissing whatever thoughts she has. However, if a man pipes up 5 minutes later and articulates the very same idea but does so only half as well, he's the one that everyone listens to and pats on the back.

Fuck, does that piss me off. No one likes being ignored, and when it's so blatantly the work of sexism, that can really make a woman like me foam at the mouth.

Which, of course, just makes me more of a bitchy whiner.

However, based on the emails I've had in response to my previous fat bigotry rant, it turns out that even when people can't hear my voice, I get the same shit. The insults and contempt thrown my way for having had the gall to rant about anything always generally involve the words "whining" or "bitchy" or "PMS". Oh, that one really gets me - PMS. There goes Smoog, ranting. Must be her time of month. After all, that's the only time women actually have opinions, right? The rest of the month we remember our place and keep our mouths shut.

In the early days of Smoog, before the existence of a Smoog bio, Smoog's rants had a far different kind of response. I'm quite sure it had a lot to do with the fact that many readers thought Smoog was a dude. Smoog the dude was side-splittingly funny when he ranted. Oh yeah, man, Smoog the dude rawked out. Smoog the dude had balls. The feedback that other dudes sent to Smoog the dude involved a lot a metaphorical backslapping, elbow-nudging, and conspiratorial winks. Oh yeah, Smoog the dude, you are so right, man. Of course, after my response informing them of my lack of appropriate genitalia, the immediate tightening of buttcheeks on the other end of the internet ether could almost be felt, it was so palpable. Oh, sorry, man-uh, I mean, ma'am. No offense, ma'am. I'll just go now, ma'am. Either that, or they made a pass at me. It was never anything in between - either one or the other. And the chicks - oh my, I did get a number of coy eye-battings by email. You can imagine their horror when the truth came out - so to speak. Their mortification at having revealed in themselves some kind of latent homosexual tendency was hilarious. Of course, some of their best friends were gay, I was told. They had no problem with it or anything, they were just not that way. So sorry to have intruded, ma'am. I'll just go now, ma'am.

There is actually an online Gender Genie, an algorithm that can supposedly measure what gender you are by your writing, and is supposedly 80% accurate. Except in my case, it would seem. It was generally 80% inaccurate when trying to guess my gender. Supposedly I mislead my readers into thinking I have a dick by being too ballsy a writer.

What a load of shit. While certainly there are innate differences between men and women, the type of words we use isn't one of them. That's learned behavior, not born. If you don't learn it, you don't do it. I obviously didn't learn it, thank all that's good and right in the world, and don't intend to, otherwise I might have to start writing poems about butterflies and unicorns.

Let's get something straight: when I rant, I'm ranting. I'm not whining, I'm not bitching, I'm not premenstrual, I'm not over-compensating for some deep-seated self-loathing that leads me to attack the world and hate everyone, and I do not, ever, need to take a pill. If you have a problem with a broad with an opinion who actually states it, go sing it to someone who cares. Hell, write your own damn rant about it. This seat's taken.

make idle gossip (14 comments so far)

come hither - back off

Last 5 entries:
01.14.2007:Finally, a support group we can all get behind
01.09.2007:The City That Ever Reeks
01.08.2007:Waiter, there's a uterus in my soup
01.03.2007:Long Lost Mummy of Nefertiti Found in Smoog's Apartment
12.30.2006:New Year's resolutions we can actually keep

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