Vaginal Madness!
01.14.2006
You read it in the news, you see it on MTV, you recognize the danger. Women are falling prey to the temptations of modern freedom and power. They must be kept safe, protected, enslav-um, protected. Yes, that's it. Women who are sexual are skanks. Women who reveal their bodies are evil. Only men have the power to grab their crotch and dance around with their shirt off while fondling their washboard stomach without losing their souls. The delicacy of females must be forever preserved from the satanic whispers of those who say that women are not, in fact, fragile fairy flowers of emminent purity and innocence, but actually human. Oh, the horror!
Therefore, we at the Christian Coalition for the Reinstatement of Mandatory Chastity Belts have used Beelzebub's weapon against him. We shall spread the word and illuminate the danger through the use of the Hollywood feature film. With the help of funding through our national bake sale and target shoot, we urge you to swarm the theatres with nubile flesh in tow, buy your tickets, and learn the awful truth.
VAGINAL MADNESS!
She was a good girl, a Christian girl, a girl on her way to becoming valedictorian!
All it took was unusually high water pressure and a bar of soap!
If you thought your daughter was safe, be warned!
The danger lurks everywhere: in locker rooms, in bathrooms, in Home Depot stores!
VAGINAL MADNESS!
She never knew a handheld massaging showerhead could wreak such havoc!
Now her once respectable vagina is plagued with this venomous liquid!
VAGINAL MADNESS!
Watch it for the sake of the children - know the risks! See the movie that kept more underpants up than any other!
"Five stars! Magnificent, a tour de force! Vaginal Madness is a surefire Oscar contender!" - Dr. Scooten Down
"If you see anything this year, see Vaginal Madness! It's breathtaking, edgy, and blows the shower curtain wide open!" - My Mother
Now playing in all theatres that banned Brokeback Mountain but kept Hostel running, because everyone knows butt sex is more dangerous than senseless killing.
make idle gossip (14 comments so far)
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