Amen Sister.

suzanna danna - website of choice
2005-08-17 11:17:45

my dad openly mocks fat people. i've fought every day of my self-concious life to fight it. combined with a societal prejudice against fat people, this dislike is overwhelming. how to fight it i'm not sure. i try not to let this prejudice affect my daily life, but of course it does. it colors my impressions of people. that said, i don't find skinny people all that attractive either. those stick figures who've stopped eating so they can play holocaust victims in the next wwii movie are disgusting. i want something to hold, something to touch, something of substance. that said, i dumped my fat girlfriend for a skinny girlfriend. it wasn't because one was fat and the other skinny (i've noticed different people carry weight differently, and my fat girlfriend was very sexy the way she was, while i think my skinny girlfriend would look odd were she to be fat again), it was because i wasn't able to commit emotionally to the last one and fell for the present one when i first saw her. do i still mock the overweight woman trying to pull into traffic while shoving a big mac in her mouth? yes, but more so because she's an idiot eating a big mac and driving at the same time. do i mention it to my dad? i can hear his voice mocking her viciously anyway, so no. i sick of his shit. fat people are cool (and sexy) too. how do we get the rest of the world to understand that?

entirely too starry - website of choice
2005-08-17 11:23:51


Bunny828 - website of choice
2005-08-17 11:29:37

One of my best friends has always been large - some people just don't see the inner qualities of people if it's wrapped in a different shell. Their loss, though.

Smed - website of choice
2005-08-17 11:45:28

Well, Smed, I'm just as concerned by the fact that it's only the inner qualities of fat people that some people think need to be considered. It concerns me that in so many industrialised cultures, for the past few decades the sight of fat has been taught to us as being ugly. It's not an automatic reaction. Fat is considered quite attractive in some cultures. Frankly, I want people to appreciate my outer qualities as much as my inner ones, regardless that there may be more fat tissue around them. That, to me, would be a sign that this form of culturally accepted discrimination was starting to come to an end.

Smoog - website of choice
2005-08-17 11:52:08

I have to say this is one of the BEST commentaries on fat bigotry I have ever read. Major kudos to you Smoog and may I have permission to post it to my Big Brainy Women group on Myspace? I so want to share this with my comrades.

artgnome - website of choice
2005-08-17 11:54:49

maybe all the "fat" people of the world should unite and start openly mocking those twiggy biggots who blow over in a slight breeze. i really don't understand the fear of being fat. there is a point where it really does get to be a health issue. but the majority of "fat" people aren't there. my thin doctor tells me i'm healthier than she is. i'm the fattest, yet healthiest in my family. so boo-ya! in your face you sickly skinny people!

pumpkin queen - website of choice
2005-08-17 12:04:53

artgnome - feel free.

Smoog - website of choice
2005-08-17 12:13:45

pumpkin queen - two wrongs don't make a right, to be cliché about it, no matter how tempting it is to seek revenge by taking it out on twiggy people. Showing contempt for bigotry I'm all for. Showing contempt for thinness - no way, no how.

Smoog - website of choice
2005-08-17 12:17:08

But fat people are ugly, especially girls. How can you feel confidence walking down the street looking like a total skank? Fat people are like, wah wah wah, it's my glands, it's hereditary, no it's not - you're just greedy. Stop eating and exercise! I work hard for my body, and I hope I live a long and healthy life. Come off the cupcakes and cream buns and start eating nice, proper foods and you'll feel better, and won't have to sit here ranting at everyone. You're being just as offensive to slim people as they are to you.

Audra - website of choice
2005-08-17 12:20:38

I like how Audra doesn't leave a website or an email. I mean, it's all well and good to insult fat people, but Heavens to Betsy someone actually call them on it.

Audra - it's not my glands, it's not my genes. It's the anti-inflammatory steroids I take every day to keep my brain from exploding and killing me. I eat an extremely healthy diet comprised largely of fruits and vegetables, I exercise every day, and even if I didn't do any of that, you show yourself to be a contemptable human being by treating other human beings like dirt for human characteristics that are irrelevant and unimportant in the overall scheme of the universe. I don't give a shit that you're thin - I give a shit that you're a small-minded nit. You are an example of bigotry at its finest, and I know it makes no difference what I say or don't say to you - only some kind of metaphorical lightning bolt will have any effect on your bigotry. This column wasn't for you - it was for the people who actually listen to you, and who, somewhere in the back of their mind, in spite of themselves, believe you.

Smoog - website of choice
2005-08-17 12:37:46

And by the way - I never said that slim people offended me. I said that bigots offended me. It's just coincidence you happen to be both.

Smoog - website of choice
2005-08-17 12:50:56

thank you Smoog! all posted. http://groups.myspace.com/BigBrainyWomen

artgnome - website of choice
2005-08-17 12:52:15

Hell yeah!

adoring fan - website of choice
2005-08-17 13:07:43

What annoys me is that people talk about eating as a moral issue. As in 'I ate some chocolate and I feel guilty' or 'I was very good today, I just ate salad'. Whereas, in fact, they are clearly acting in their own self-interest by trying to make themselves beautiful or healthy. Unless, of course, the chocolate was stolen from a small child or a kitten.

Harry - website of choice
2005-08-17 13:09:57

Audra is obviously a troll, and not even a very deft one.

Hallelujah on this piece, Smoog. Wonderful stuff here. Brava!

Weetabix - website of choice
2005-08-17 13:11:29

Exactly, Harry. It's a fucking salad, not a means of saving the world from damnation.

Smoog - website of choice
2005-08-17 13:13:11

Hmm.... "stop eating and exercise." Seems like appropriate advice from someone so small-minded. Anorexia and bulimia, two awful, harmful side-effects of the current "the smaller, the prettier" mindset are obviously Audra's best friends. I am pleased to say i eat what i want, wear what i want, weigh what i want, and because i happen to be below 500 lbs, feel pretty good about my life. I do, however, have high cholesterol from all those bologna sandwiches my dad used to make me for lunch. So congrats, Smoog, for being healthier than I am, as well.

Carrie - website of choice
2005-08-17 13:14:50

Weetabix, I'd love to think that Audra was just a troll trying to get a rise out of people for kicks, which she may well be. It's just that there are a great many people who, in all seriousness, truly believe such things. Take, for instance, what spurred me to write this - a group of 20-something guys on a balcony in an apartment across the street yelling insults and actually throwing garbage at me. At times like those, I decide I'll respond even to apparent trolls, because someone has to put an end to this nonsense.

Smoog - website of choice
2005-08-17 13:18:24

I heart you, Smoogie, especially seeing as how fat-bottomed girls, they make my rockin' world go 'round. And anyway, don't we have a date when I get home? ;)

Meany - website of choice
2005-08-17 13:24:00

"Stop eating and exercise." Now that's some scary advice. And notice how she uses 'slim' like it's a good thing. Not healthy, but slim. Maybe I should mention something sort of off-the-cuff to little miss slim-pants. I just finished a research study regarding pregnant women getting stretch marks. Our results? It didn't matter what their body shape was, what their BMI was, or weight (during or before pregnancy). If the women had strong cores, they didn't get stretch marks. If they weren't strong, they did. So even the 'slim' ones were getting stretch marks if they weren't strong. Given that, I'd much rather be strong than slim. (And the non-research side of me thinks that morons like Audra should be used for sighting in assault rifles. *ahem. But that's another story!)

skibigsky - website of choice
2005-08-17 13:25:45

Damned straight, Meany - so to speak. It's marked in my calendar. Just don't let my boyfriend know.

Smoog - website of choice
2005-08-17 13:28:54

I'm sorry, skibigsky, can i ask what you mean by "strong cores?" I was so paranoid i'd get stretch marks when i was pregnant, but ended up not getting any (on my belly at least -- my hefty cleavage is a different story). I'd be interested in knowing why.

Carrie - website of choice
2005-08-17 13:30:36

"But fat people are ugly, especially girls. How can you feel confidence walking down the street looking like a total skank?" - really...it's not the fat girls in my community that walk around half naked looking like skanks, it's the skinny little bulimics with the low rise/thong combination going on, insecurely begging for attention with their bodies because they haven't got anything else going on. I'm so sick of the little twig sluts with the hair and the nails and the stupid pink outfits that show everything like a porn star on parade looking down their noses and forever sizing themselves up to others by appearance and sexual skills only. I'd rather be fat anyday, thank you Audra.

artgnome - website of choice
2005-08-17 13:51:23

*sigh* i guess you're right. *pouts* as infuriating as people like audra are, i do feel sorry for them. just think of how insecure she must be with that lack of intelligence and personality that she has to make up for it by striving to some arbitrary goal of beauty made up by today's vapid media. most of my friends have always been men and i find that the opinion has always been the same: thin doesn't matter that much. good hygiene, the ability to be sexy (which has as much to do with confidence as looks), a nice rack and/or good proportions seems to be what guys are more interested in. and all the guys i've known with an opinion worth listening to have stressed the sexy/confidence more than anything else. my confidence has little to do with my size/looks and more to do with the fact that i know i'm a nice, fun, caring, intelligent woman with a lot to offer. anyone who doesn't see that or won't see that isn't worth my time. and anyone who calibrates their self-worth based solely on their image is in a sad state indeed.

pumpkin queen - website of choice
2005-08-17 13:59:06

Whoa whoa whoa. Artgnome, people have the right to wear whatever they please in public, be they fat or thin. Doesn't make them "sluts", and spewing vitriol at slim people for wearing what they please in public is no better than spewing vitriol at fat people for doing the same. What's more, bulimia is a disease - it should not be an insult. This column should not be considered license to do unto others as you'd hate to have done unto yourself. The people who are bigoted against fat aren't bigoted because they're slim - they've bigoted because they've been taught to be. Lumping the two things together like they're somehow related is no better than anything anyone can direct at a fat person.

Smoog - website of choice
2005-08-17 14:03:00

Great entry. I'm at a size where I don't quite look big enough to frequently have people saying nasty things to me on the street, but I'm just big enough to generally not be considered as attractive as my thinner counterparts. I'm frequently told I have a pretty face, but if I go out dancing or whatever with a thinner female friend, even one who would generally be considered quite plain, face-wise, she gets hit on plenty and I get ignored. The one time I really remember someone random commenting on my weight was just after I'd had a salad for lunch and was trying to eat more healthfully, and was feeling pretty good about myself for it. I walked by three guys on Queen street, one of whom was lying face-down on the sidewalk, and another of whom was holding a long stick, and the other who was yelling out "Poke a dead guy for a nickel!". As I walked by, not taking them up on this oh-so-tempting offer, the guy yelled out "SlimFast for a dollar!", while the others laughed and gasped in that whole "dude, that was mean .. but FUNNY!" sort of way that I think we're all familiar with from high school. After that I lost it and went and bought two chocolate bars. I didn't end up eating them, since I came to my senses and realized that would be letting them affect my behaviour, but even so .. you'd expect panhandlers of all people to understand how stupid such judgements are, given that they have people saying things like "get a job!" at them all day, but apparently not. Oh god, this comment is turning into a novel, I'm sorry.

Lara - website of choice
2005-08-17 14:22:53

I am one of the many who sees the stares and glares as I walk down the street. I'm observant...I see everything. It seems like I cannot go a day without noticing at least one person looking at me in disgust. I just can't fathom who people who do these hurtful things can live with themselves. In middle school I was dubbed Shamu by most of my classmates. I ended most of my days in tears. I even contemplated suicide but I am too great of a person to just give up on life. Besides I now have three wonderful friends who help me every step of the way. I am also one of the many who cannot or I guess its just will not speak up for myself. I am so very happy to know that there are people out there willing to speak up because being "fat" is not a disease and we all deserve to be treated like human beings like anyone else. So thank you Smoog...so much...for speaking out when others can't...when others won't.

Katie - website of choice
2005-08-17 14:36:37

There's got to be an open forum for this kind of stuff. Who's up for bringing body awareness to the center table, slathering it in gravy, and writing a play about it in the fashion of The Vagina Molologues? Smoog, thanks for the entry, you rock my socks.

Daphne - website of choice
2005-08-17 14:38:44

You are the greatest perosn in the world. *hug* My mother will not let me see my girlfriend because she's fat. Like it makes her a bad influence to be fat or something, when in fact, I am fat too.

digger - website of choice
2005-08-17 15:05:04

I'm a 'recovered' anorexic. I take pride in the fact that I am almost 300lbs., and I don't have to freak out and starve myself over it. I had to retrain myself to look at the magazine covers in the supermarket and see them for what they are - pitifully underfed, bony, unattractive children. My two girls here have grown up hearing me say "Feed that woman" when seeing photos of the latest supermodel. I hope it helps them. With all that, I still feel enough shame when others look at me and instead of seeing the triumph of mental health (eating!) over idolatry - the worship of a physical object. I can and do feel, act and (I believe) look sexy when I am alone - but put me in a room with another person judging me, and it all goes away. That's how powerful the opinions of others can be, even when I *know* they are wrong. Argh! I wish I could be stronger than that. Thanks for what you wrote - it's beautiful. I want to note that 'inside' does count - and those fat-bigots are ugly on the inside. Even if I thought I was ugly on the outside, I know which I would rather be.

Ladybugge - website of choice
2005-08-17 16:03:54

Well said. Oh, so very well said.

whyme63 - website of choice
2005-08-17 16:30:01

Wow. Smoog, your entry gave me quite a bit to think about. I have a feeling that this entry will be on my mind for the next few days, as I chew on it for a while. I thought that your entry would be enough brain food, but then I read these comments and to me it brings up a whole new can of worms! (Can, open...worms, everywhere!) Thanks for giving my brain an opportunity to ponder-it's a very welcome thing, as it hasn't been as busy lately as I'd like.

Clipchick - website of choice
2005-08-17 16:34:07

So very true how people have turned food into a moral issue. And about weight and health not always beening linked. I put on some weight threw being to busy /stressed to eat well last year - and got high colesteral and low iron. So i ate better and joined the gym. I am way more healthy now , but the same weight.

Monique - website of choice
2005-08-17 17:05:34

Finally, someone who's got something worthwhile to read! What a great entry, you rock!

Jellehbelleh - website of choice
2005-08-17 17:05:42

as always, it's so wonderful to read your work. my favorite line (and it's my favorite because it's so TRUE) is: "You talk about a fat person eating a Twinkie as if they're shoving a newborn baby into their mouth." Thank you for bringing up this topic because we as a society are very biggoted in regards to weight issues.

devian - website of choice
2005-08-17 21:59:44

damn, smoog--your comments section is as sizzling as your entry today! you are so right when someone said something about "inner beauty", implying that larger people aren't beautiful and you need to delve inside to find the beauty. i'm sorry, but BIG IS BEAUTIFUL! big, small--does it matter? why? we need to stop being such a sizist (sp??) society. it's old

devian - website of choice
2005-08-17 22:06:28

Sing it sister! My favorite irony in the whole obesity-as-health-epidemic hysteria is the little gem of a factoid that even if obesity was as lethal as some sort of terminal, flesh-eating, ball-sucking, eat-you-out-from-the-inside-like-you'd-swallowed-drano cancer, there's absolutely no evidence that losing weight improves any health outcome whatsoever . In fact, all active efforts at weight loss predict longitudinally -- even healthy, sane, approved-by-your-doctor diet and exercise programs -- is, um, increased risk of developing an eating disorder, increased risk-taking behavior (e.g., drug and alcohol use, and, in adolescents, unprotected sex and deliquency), decreased self-esteem and increased body dissatisfaction, poorer physical health on a variety of measures, and, er, weight gain. So even if being fat is so all-fired bad for you (an overblown conclusion, as you've pointed out, and what health effects there are may well be caused by the oppression that goes with being fat), actively trying to lose weight probably isn't going to make you any healthier. Research on obesity is full of artifactual nonsense, anyway. For example, obesity is related to hypertension, right? Turns out when you stick on a blood pressure cuff that's actually big enough to go around your overweight participants' arms there is no difference between the obese and the normal weight folks in blood pressure. If the cuff is too damn tight to begin with, it inflates the reading. Oh and then there's the stack of research suggesting that overweight people don't actually consume any more calories than slender people. (They do get less exercise, but I'm sure that has nothing at all to do with the overall hassle of sticking on workout clothes and hitting the gym or the beach and getting totally harrassed for it, right?) And of course the negative health effects of being modestly underweight are more persuasive and compelling than those associated with being modestly overweight, but you never hear any nice soccer mommie fretting about how she has to gain 10 pounds for her health, now do you? Anybody that justifies dissing a fat person on the basis of their poor self-control and inattention to their health is totally watching the cinema in their fucking rectum. It's the beauty-trap, stupid. It's about looking pretty for your close up, and that's all. I'm a normal weight girlie (just ask the CDC), but I treat pretty little ladies who are constantly ready to keel over dead from their bradycardia and their electrolyte imbalances and their overall inanition because they are so scared they might just possibly someday have a BMI of 25.5 or something, and thus fat-bigotry in general makes me so mad I could scream. God, sometimes I think feminism never even happened. We come in all sizes and shapes. We have more important shit to do than stare into mirrors and watch each other eat. Jeez. Breathes deeply. Rolls eyes. Split a box of twinkies with Smoog. Ends rant.

shadygrove - website of choice
2005-08-18 01:53:27

i hear you, and i agree with you completely. but i would say this: be careful about generalizations, especially in instances like this where you are angry. saying "most of you" this, or "the majority of you" that, takes away credibility. it is expressing your perception that most people say or do certain things. but there are plenty of compassionate humans out there who will accept people for what they are. i hear your anger, and fuck yeah for expressing it, because it needs to be expressed. something else i found interesting though was the response you got. people are quick to turn around and attack the opposite side, which is a similar hostile mindset to that of the people doing the original attacking. it's these patterns of any kind of insult and insensitivity that need to be deconstructed. we are all human. we all love. we all hurt. i think what we need is to finally recognize each other's humanness. if we could do that, well, wow. by the way, you are a wonderful writer.

joe - website of choice
2005-08-18 02:38:58

Joe, in this case, in the Western World, particularly in North America, "most of you" and "the majority of you" is sadly not a generalization. It is accurate, and that accuracy has been documented. This attitude is, at present, extremely pervasive. Even some of the kindest, most reasonable-seeming people in this culture of ours have automatic negative reactions to the sight and discussion of fat.

Yes, it is interesting the responses that can occur when people who've been harrassed are given a forum to retaliate. Obviously, from my responses in this comments section, I agree with you on the destructiveness of that kind of retaliation. It's understandable, yes, but just because something is understandable does not in any way make it justified.

shadygrove - ah yes, the blood pressure cuff dilemma. That was exactly what initially happened to me in a hospital one time - until I forced the nurse to hunt down the large-sized cuff and retake my blood pressure, knowing full well what the problem was and what my blood pressure should really be. Surprise surprise, it went from 140/100 to 110/70.

Smoog - website of choice
2005-08-18 05:41:28

In 1999 61% of Americans met the "obesity" criteria - it's considered an epidemic. Brittan surpassed the U.S. in 2002. You are not alone...

malthus - website of choice
2005-08-18 06:44:10

malthus, I don't know where you got that number, but even the most exaggerated of figures don't put obesity in the US at 61%. That's what the National Health and Nutritional Examination Survey estimated were the number of obese AND overweight U.S. adults. The actual number of those who are medically classified as "obese" (30 or more pounds overweight) is lower - on average somewhere around 20-25%. Of course, since what the CDC has considered "moderately overweight" is shown to be healthier for you than "normal weight", that puts the whole "epidemic" into a different light.

Smoog - website of choice
2005-08-18 09:43:13

Dear Smoog, I admire you for being able to so rationally discuss something so incredibly upsetting. Right down to your calm responses to some of the less-well-thought-out notes in your guestbook. I'm not gonna jump on your bandwagon here and pretend that I know what it's like to have the Evil Eye Of Physical Morality fixed on me at all times, because I don't. But I'm a member of a bunch of clubs that the Big Stick Of Western Morality likes to take a smack at regularly, and I have to tell you, there is no way in hell I can respond as calmly as you have here. When people throw things at me from cars, or take out full-page ads denouncing people like me, or send people like me to re-education camps "for their own good", I can't think one single thing beyond KILL THE BASTARDS. Whereas you actually have the capacity to try to teach people why they're so very wrong, and I salute you for being willing to share that. Love, Ali

pink - website of choice
2005-08-18 13:01:52

Hm, where to start? I'll mention first that I'm 27 years old, and fat. (Are we at a meeting? Should I wait for everyone to say "Hi, Alannablue!"?) My mother has been hounding me for the last two weeks to go to the doctor and ask him if I have Cushing's disease. I had never heard of it; she watched some TV show about it. Already I knew this was going to be more b.s. from her, but I allow her to talk to me sometimes about such things. Unfortunately, in the allowing, she takes the whole damn mile and begins harassing me to go get "checked out" just to "make sure" nothing's wrong. Nothing's wrong, Mom, I'm just fat. Which is what I told her, but she doesn't believe that. So. I did some brief research on Cushing's on the internet, and the conditions and pictures described on the sites I found were no way close to the way I look. It's like she heard a few of the symptoms (being overweight in the torso area, having stretch marks, depression, and headaches) and ignored the rest of them (the arms/legs are really skinny, stretch marks are huge, darkly-colored striations as opposed to the little pale ones, the fat in torso is non-proportional to the rest of the body, and having a humpback is common). I know why she told me about it, why she wants it to be true. So there's a reason I'm fat and depressed and get headaches. So that maybe there's a cure. So that maybe it's not my fault I'm fat. To be perfectly honest, I don't give a shit if it is my fault I'm fat. I accept that I am and I am not constantly searching for ways to lose weight or excuse it. As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing to excuse. My whole point in all this is that people like my mom, who loves me and wants me to be healthy and happy, can't see the forest for the fat. She's a bigot. She'll never change, be any different, be supportive instead of critical, or understand that I am not looking to change my weight. I snub my nose at losing weight to "feel better". I will exercise to feel better only because exercise is good for me, not because of the weight-loss aspect. If I could separate the two, I would do it in an instant. Therefore, if my mom can look at me and not really see me (total disregard for how I feel about being fat, she just wants me to be skinny), I know there are probably lots of people out there who look at me the same way. Just without the love bit. I feel the same way you do, Smoog. I hate when people say I have a pretty face, or that I'm pretty on the inside. Fuck that. All of me is pretty. I look at myself everyday (inside and out) - I should know. Anyone who thinks otherwise just simply doesn't have the same priorities I do, which is not to judge people. Not just based on their looks/size/color/gender/sexuality/cosmetic surgery choices/or whatever, but on anything. I refuse to judge people on just what I can see from afar, or on solitary actions. I go to the same restaurant at least 5 times before I make my final decision on whether I like it or not. I give people in my life more chances than that. What I would like is for more people to do the same thing - give others the same slack you give yourself or your loved ones before making a judgment about them. Waiters, drivers, fat people, skinny people, disabled people, whoever. We're all the same. Wake up and share your cup of coffee.

alannablue - website of choice
2005-08-18 19:45:42

I don't think there's anything I can add that no one hasn't said before... but I know I'm going to try to be more considerate. To everyone.

K.T. Slager - website of choice
2005-08-18 20:02:00

I didn't mean to imply (way up there) that I thought fat was congruent to ugly. People do, though and they discount the inner person when they do that. That's all I was trying to get at - however lamely I did. Carry on!

Smed - website of choice
2005-08-18 20:12:08

Thank you, Smoog, for reminding me that I am beautiful no matter my size. T tells me I am; until now, I didn't accept it as more than him being gallant. I do need to lose weight for medical reasons - not blood pressure or anything along those lines, but some obscure things that are related to weight. I blame stress, and stress is certainly a factor. Studies alao show that sleep deprivation is a significant part of weight gain, so the whole "lazy" thing is, if anything, the opposite of reality. Those of us who are overweight are the ones who are working 2 or three jobs and taking care of our families, shouldering the responsibilities beyond what human beings were meant to accept. I can't afford a gym membership and wouldn't have time to go if I paid for it.

radiogurl - website of choice
2005-08-18 21:24:21

I'm going in for my periodic blood glucose, cholesterol, and thyroid test. I have no idea what the results will be, maybe bad, but the last time blood glucose and cholesterol were better than than the average for my age. Unbelievable. I think it's because I walk a lot more than the average person my age. (I don't drive.)

DS - website of choice
2005-08-18 22:45:56

P.S. A few men think I'm hot stuff. Of course, they're right. :)

DS - website of choice
2005-08-18 22:50:41

I think you're just fucking brilliant, Smoog. You always make me think, in a good way. Good stuff, stuff I need to hear.

Trance - website of choice
2005-08-19 09:34:38

alannablue - I actually do have Cushing's Syndrome. Like I mentioned before, I regularly take steroids to reduce inflammation and fluid build-up in my brain, and I do indeed have a disproportionately fat torso in comparison to my arms and legs and develop large stretchmarks and bruising due to skin fragility. I do not, however, have a hunchback. Really. Hey, I prefer to think of it as a "spinal difference", bucko.

Trance - OK, now my offer to marry you in a gay wedding so you can have Canadian healthcare is so on. I just melt when people call me "brilliant", man. I get all tingly and wet and everything. Just don't tell Blue Meany - we have a date when she gets back from Iraq - or my boyfriend, who's really going to wonder about your presence in our household, but I'm sure he'll get used to it in time.

Smoog - website of choice
2005-08-19 10:08:55

Woah! Wow! Dammit where's a little applause icon when you need one! Just found you through a banner. You've got me hooked!

Jemma - website of choice
2005-08-19 10:58:52

i went through a period in my life of great struggle that made it difficult to eat or maintain my wieght. i considered myself less attractive at fifteen pounds underwieght and was subsequently very self conscious about how unhealthy i looked. as a result of this new 'anorexic' physique i was met with daily jealous snarls and insults from my healthier more plump more womanly counterparts including women in my family. it cut me to the core - and what's worse - they considered it alright to say daily - "jesus, eat a cookie" because i was too thin. being hateful toward someone for ANY reason is never right. i have many friends who would be considered overwieght in our society who i consider to be absolutely beautiful. i wish the jealous aphrodite in all of us could be quelled and we could learn to love ourselves and thusly to love one another on the basis of the intricately lovely attributes of our individual souls...

cecilia - website of choice
2005-08-19 12:51:00

I got busy typing out a comment and then it went on for so long that I decided that I really should save it for my own blog! Which I shall take care of some time in the next week if anybody cares (because I have other blogs drafted and lined up).

DanjerusKurves - website of choice
2005-08-19 13:16:49

Thank You

kate - website of choice
2005-08-19 15:47:42

"my boyfriend, who's really going to wonder about your presence in our household, but I'm sure he'll get used to it in time." That, my wriggly armful of joysome delights, may require further discussion. Of course, I'm always open to hot, sweaty persuasion.

Listmania - website of choice
2005-08-19 23:05:09

I'm always open to that kind of persuasion. *leer*

Besides, it would purely be a marriage of convenience, lover. I'm sure we'd only have to feed and water Trance Jen occasionally. And yes, OK, I may have also promised sex to Blue Meany when her husband dumped her long distance while she was stationed in Iraq, but it'll just be that one time when she gets back from her tour of duty. She's a soldier in the field. Isn't it my patriotic duty or something?

Oh, wait - I'm not American. Oops.

Smoog - website of choice
2005-08-19 23:15:23

I think ignorance comes with lack of education about WHY some people are fat and some are thin. When you look around you, all you see on TV and in ads is how to eat right and exercise to lose weight. So, in this culture, it's easy for thin people to think that fat people don't eat right and are lazy. Un-educated. Not necessarily stupid or ignorant. Before I had my son the most I ever weighed was 105 pounds. To the uneducated people of this world I fit the stereo type of what lookin good is all about. But you know what? I was so unhealthy I was always sick with something. I chain smoked, I never exercised, I ate CRAP with no nutrients in it whatsoever. I just happened to be thin. Whoopdi freakin do. Since I've had my son I'm 130 pounds. On a tiny frame that is considered pudgy and I get comments from people CONSTANTLY about it. I think I may have a thyroid problem but nevermind that... I eat good. I exercise at the gym 3 times a week. I am no longer a smoking chimney. I feel better than I ever have. I should be happy but, like you, I get tired of the comments "maybe you shouldn't be eating that pizza?" Every time I see my brother in law he tells me I'm fat. I'm a damned size 6 for crying out loud and I get hell for being pudgy. I know it's going to the opposite extreme and probably just as annoying but I now feel sorry for fat people; not because they're any less fabulous than twigs, but because they get teased mercilessly. Supermarket magazines, TV, movies..... and then people in every day life to boot. Sucks.

momofbrock - website of choice
2005-08-20 20:56:28

momofbrock, I'm rather of the opinion that it doesn't matter why someone is fat or someone is thin. Once again, that applies morality to eating and exercise, and those are not moral or immoral activities, regardless of what you do or don't do. If someone chooses to eat a lot of fattening food and not exercise, that does not make them sinful or shiftless, nor does eating salads every day and regularly going to the gym make a person virtuous. How does what one eat or how one exercises or doesn't have any impact on who they are as people? It doesn't reveal anything about their relative personal morality, nor does it highlight how they work or how they interact with and treat the people in their lives. A Twinkie-eating, non-exercising fat person could be living the life of the next Mother Teresa for all we know. A salad-eating weightlifting thin jogger could be brutally murdering random people in a nearby park. There is simply no connection, but unfortunately, such a connection has been built in this society.

Smoog - website of choice
2005-08-20 21:14:22

Yes, that's what I was getting at in my scatterbrained sort of way... I apparently was more -worth knowing- when I was an anaerexic stick insect. Now that I'm not, apparently I'm not even worth approaching or taking seriously. And if you see me eating something sinfully delicious, something had BETTER be said about it! People are morons. I hate people. : )

momofbrock - website of choice
2005-08-21 14:59:25

I absolutely adore this entry and I am listing you as one of my favourite diaries when I find out how. So Ive never been more than 120 pounds, but Im 12, and 5'9", so Ive always felt just bigger than everyone else. And people told me I was skinny, but I always felt huge. And I still do. Its so awkward. My best friend is a bit larger than the majority of people and everyone teased her and they always asked me why I hung out with her, and why I wouldnt talk to any of the 'popular kids'. I said "Lets see, the 'popular kids' are a load of crap, and I have a ton of fun with Christina, I dont care what she looks like, or who she hangs out with. As long as they include me and other people who care about her." Last year, some kids actually started listening to me, and now Christina has a ton of friends & is no longer bugged. She didnt go on a diet, didnt start exercising more, the two of us just shoved it in their tiny brains that this is how it was and they should shut up now. It was great. And much like this article, was Christina's public speaking speech. Minus all the biggots and mean things. :P Well thanks, and uhm ... thanks? :)

Kenzie - website of choice
2005-08-28 21:29:33

Well said Rachel. As a woman who comes from a family of very over-weight women, who has herself fought the battle (up to over 200 at times), won, lost and regained weight throughout her life, this really speaks to me. My father's powerful disapproval of my mother's size and his criticisms of me (and,contrastingly, his approval when I was too thin) had a life-long effect on my ability to accept myself. This message needs to get out to more young women.

mary (earthshoes) - website of choice
2005-10-06 11:01:01

Can we talk about this over a plate of turkey and noodles, mashed potatoes, corn, and homemade bread?

Melanie James - website of choice
2005-10-07 21:38:00

Good rant. The sad truth is, America has been endlessly programmed to look at certain things as beautiful and anything else as ugly. The programming simply doesn't always work. There are more and more people willing to find the beauty in a person, regardless of their shape, color or other characteristics. The more people stand up and challenge ignorance, the further into the shadows and under the rocks it will ooze. Cheers Smoog! Doog

M. Douglas Wray - website of choice
2005-12-27 23:00:09

I just spent a week with my father and came to grips with the reason I spent most of my twenties with my finger down my throat trying to force myself into an "acceptable" (aka loveable) size. It does not matter what a woman accomplishes, according to my father, it's how she looks . . . Thanks for the eating disorder Dad. Great parting gift.

earthshoes - website of choice
2006-03-14 09:06:39

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wieght loss - website of choice
2006-08-07 02:55:50

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lose wieght - website of choice
2006-08-14 12:42:48

Good afternoon Smoog! You had mentioned in your comment, and I quote "I can completely understand why suicide rates among the obese are so much higher than average." end quote. Actually, although you were right about everything else, you are wrong on your statistics concerning suicide among the obese. It is a know fact in the medical profession that the higher the BMI, Body Mass Index, the lower the suicide rate. This is surprising when one considers all the bull crap we fat people have to put up with in society. As for me, at the age of 55, and 5 ft. 6 in, and weighing 330 pounds, I'm perfectly happy and contented being fat. Last year, back in December, I was down to 270 pounds, and I didn't feel any better. In fact I felt depressed and suffered from anxiety. But since I have been allowing my weight to come back up again, I feel more calm and relaxed, and even more contented. I normally weigh a nice plump scale busting 350+ pounds, and I've been as heavy as 380 pounds. So, I'm just going to let myself go back up to what is "normal" for me. All I know is that I feel sad and miserable when I lose weight, but I feel more comfortable and contented being nice and fat. Why that is, well, I really don't know why! But here is an interesting article that was published in the UK,and I had to pay 2 pounds to get access to it. And so, I've copied it here so you can read it. You now owe me 2 pounds Britsh Sterling. JUST KIDDING!!! Anyway, here it is! =========================================== Slim = sad. Fat = happy If you think going on a diet is depressing, you are right. And here's the part that really hurts! By Roger Dobson and Tom Anderson Published: 11 December 2005 It is the body type that millions yearn for. They seek slender, toned perfection, thinking it will bring sex, power and happiness. However, they should prepare to be disappointed - and deeply depressed. A new study has revealed that, rather than being content and confident, slim people struggle to deal with life's woes. Anxiety and mental suffering often dominate their lives - to such a degree that they are much more likely to commit suicide than large people. The startling new insight into the deep mental troughs many slender people sink into comes in a report led by psychologists at Bristol University. They teamed up with colleagues across Europe to study the lifestyles of thousands of people and the results were stark: thin people were far less happy than rotund ones. Over a 16-year period, the ups and downs of more than a million lives were examined and it was found that as a person's body mass index (BMI) rose the risk of serious depression fell. And when the scientists considered more than 3,000 people who had committed suicide they found that their BMI was on average significantly lower than those who did not kill themselves. Various other factors that could bias the results, such as socio-economic status, were taken into account. "We were quite surprised as there is a view that people who are overweight may be stigmatised and made to feel depressed," said Professor David Gunnell, of Bristol University, one of the authors of the study, which is to appear in the American Journal of Epidemiology. "Our findings provide some support for the idea that fatter people are at a reduced risk of the problems that lead to suicide." That did not come as a surprise to those who warn about the dangers of losing weight. Joanne Roper, of Hugs International, an anti-diet pressure group, said: "Slimming makes you miserable. Dieting can bring people down and make them obsessed with their body image. You've got to be happy with what you've got and not worry about things too much. It takes work but if you can accept yourself as you then you'll be happy generally." Concetta Clarizo, 31, from Essex, said that when she lost weight it had not made her happy. "Dieting books always have very clear rules, which are eat less and exercise more and then you'll be normal and then you'll be happy. Well it's rubbish." The daytime television presenter Fern Britton drew criticism when she insisted that she was "a jolly size 16" and said that diets did not make people happy. Emma Hayes, 44, from Brighton, agreed. "Being thin is not a recipe for happiness," she said. "I've never dieted in my life and I'm wonderfully happy. I don't know many people that are happier than me." The pan-European study revealed that for each 5kg per square metre increase in BMI, the risk of suicide decreased by 15 per cent. Exactly why is not clear, although there are a number of theories. Some research shows that people with insulin resistance, a condition associated with a raised BMI, may have a reduced risk of depression and suicidal behaviour. Insulin resistance is associated with levels of serotonin, the feel-good hormone. One of the main types of antidepressant drugs works by increasing the amount of serotonin. It is possible, researchers say, that people who eat more have higher levels of serotonin, which may lower levels of depression. Other research has found a link between obesity and low levels of anxiety and depression. "High BMI appears to be associated with lower suicide risk," said Professor Gunnell. However, he added: "Since a high BMI is also associated with an increased risk of cardiovascular disease, cancer, diabetes, and other important causes of morbidity and mortality, we would not recommend interventions to increase BMI to prevent suicide or increase levels of happiness." SIZE MATTERS Not thin Emma Hayes is 44, single and lives in Brighton. She is the owner of Emma Plus, a fashion store for larger women. "Being thin is not necessarily a recipe for happiness. I've never dieted, and I'm wonderfully happy. I don't know many people happier than me. I think the thing is to be contented and accepting of who you are. "Many of the things I have are due to me being large. I have my own business and I really enjoy it and I have beautiful clothes and I have my health. "We laugh at work. One of my customers drove past the other day and saw us all dancing around the shop. Life is what you make of it. Thin Concetta Clarizio is 31 and lives in Essex with her boyfriend. She shed pounds dieting but laments that it has not lifted her spirits. "Being thin is not all it's cracked up to be." Getting there and staying that way can be a real mental drain for some. Dieting is about deprivation. It can make you more depressed than being obese. "I tried diets with the food replacement drinks. I felt I was being punished and the portions were being reduced for no justifiable reason." ========================================= And so, what good is it to struggle trying to lose weight if it is going to make you feel sad and miserable, just to get down to a size that is socially acceptable??? It's better to be fat ahd happy than to be thin and misreable. We are all God's children, but we fat people are God's babies! :)

The Happy Little Fat Boy - website of choice
2006-10-16 17:01:10

As of Mar. 26, 2007, only Diaryland members will be able to post comments. Hopefully this will change soon, but I'm being spammed with 40-50 porn links in my comments pages a day, and it has to stop.

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