smoog's diary http://smoog.diaryland.com/ 's DiaryLand diary en-us username@diaryland.com help@diaryland.com Finally, a support group we can all get behind http://smoog.diaryland.com/fua.html Do you have so many problems in your life you&#039;d have to quit your lousy, stinking job just to attend all the support groups you qualify for&#63; Are you spotty, fat, miserable, bored, hungry, contagious, homocidal, suicidal, patricidal, delusional, bitter, but also inexplicably content&#63; D (<A HREF='http://smoog.diaryland.com/fua.html'>more</A>) http://smoog.diaryland.com/comments/1168797312.html smoog@diaryland.com The City That Ever Reeks http://smoog.diaryland.com/nysmelly.html As you may have already heard, this past Monday brought a bigger stink to lower Manhattan and beyond than what you would usually expect from one of the largest cities in the world. Inhabitants were interrupted from the pleasing inhalation of car exhaust fumes and rotting garbage by a vast cloud of (<A HREF='http://smoog.diaryland.com/nysmelly.html'>more</A>) http://smoog.diaryland.com/comments/1168400453.html smoog@diaryland.com Waiter, there&#039;s a uterus in my soup http://smoog.diaryland.com/foodrant.html Please be advised that the text about to follow the text that you are presently reading is distinctly rant-like. While it can&#039;t be said for certain that it is, indeed, a rant, it bears enough resemblance to a rant that disturbed rumblings have been heard about the possibility of opinions being (<A HREF='http://smoog.diaryland.com/foodrant.html'>more</A>) http://smoog.diaryland.com/comments/1168311967.html smoog@diaryland.com Long Lost Mummy of Nefertiti Found in Smoog&#039;s Apartment http://smoog.diaryland.com/junkyard.html I&#039;m sure you&#039;ve all seen news stories about some poor shmuck who was found dead in his home after a 7-ft stack of old newspapers tipped and fell on top of him. Once the stench alerted the neighbours, authorities would break in to the premises, only to discover that every square inch of th (<A HREF='http://smoog.diaryland.com/junkyard.html'>more</A>) http://smoog.diaryland.com/comments/1167807933.html smoog@diaryland.com New Year&#039;s resolutions we can actually keep http://smoog.diaryland.com/resolutions.html It&#039;s that time of year, after weeks of rampant materialism, of avarice and greed, sloth and gluttony, and whatever other deadly sin we managed to squeeze into our straining waistbands over the holidays, along with that quart of egg nog and third helping of plum pudding, that we feel obligated t (<A HREF='http://smoog.diaryland.com/resolutions.html'>more</A>) http://smoog.diaryland.com/comments/1167535225.html smoog@diaryland.com <i>Zzzzzzz</i>*SNORT* Mwuh -- huh --&#63; Dozed off there for a second. http://smoog.diaryland.com/deadrising.html So anyway, like I was saying, I was - hey, where did everyone go&#63;<br><br>Christ, you take a nap for a year or two and everyone thinks you&#039;re dead. No patience, none at all. The nerve.<br><br>I have plenty of very good reasons for not having written for so very long. Number one is, of cou (<A HREF='http://smoog.diaryland.com/deadrising.html'>more</A>) http://smoog.diaryland.com/comments/1167446069.html smoog@diaryland.com We are experiencing technical difficulties due to misplaced brain function. Please stand by. http://smoog.diaryland.com/absentia.html I&#039;m sure you&#039;ve all noticed that, once again, Smoog has been missing in action recently. I apologize for yet another Smoogus Interruptus, but I&#039;m afraid Smoog has been sucked into the vortex known as the "February Blahs". I sit in front of the computer, fingers on keyboard, yet all (<A HREF='http://smoog.diaryland.com/absentia.html'>more</A>) http://smoog.diaryland.com/comments/1140568014.html smoog@diaryland.com Smoog, garbage guru http://smoog.diaryland.com/garbage.html Edmonton is not a pretty city in the winter. Prettiness is not something Edmonton has thrust upon it. Edmonton is nothing like, for instance, Monterey, California, which couldn&#039;t not be pretty even if it doused itself in kerosene and lit itself on fire. OK, sure, <i>maybe</i> if Monterey dra (<A HREF='http://smoog.diaryland.com/garbage.html'>more</A>) http://smoog.diaryland.com/comments/1138769829.html smoog@diaryland.com Secret footage unearthed from 4 billon years ago - finally, the real story about life on Earth! http://smoog.diaryland.com/earthlife.html "Whoooeee! I gotta tell ya, Znod&#039;rp, that was a great game. I&#039;m pooped."<br>"Ya smell like it too, Broosh&#039;l. For Plashmor&#039;s yads, man, it&#039;s called &#039;soap&#039;. Use it."<br>"Hey, the place was <i>hot</i>. Plus we had to encase our kloops in Yerz-BlockŪ. I sweat. D (<A HREF='http://smoog.diaryland.com/earthlife.html'>more</A>) http://smoog.diaryland.com/comments/1138428900.html smoog@diaryland.com The latest reality TV show for those who have no life http://smoog.diaryland.com/deathover.html Are you bored with your daily routine, the same schlepping tedium every minute of your existence&#63; Is your house a disaster area rivalling a Columbian prison&#63; Do your tits sag, your tummy pooch, your face scare toddlers into tears&#63; Do your children hate you, your neighbours taunt you, (<A HREF='http://smoog.diaryland.com/deathover.html'>more</A>) http://smoog.diaryland.com/comments/1138161760.html smoog@diaryland.com