Stuff it
11.28.2005

Having been appropriated once again by the mighty cogs of industry, my time and energy have been siphoned into the ever-humming wheel of pointless paper production and my wee brain is once again thoroughly addled. Having had the past two months to contemplate the mystery of how I can work that long and that hard for that much and still have nothing left, I started contemplating global economic dynamics.

Well, that just made my brain hurt, considering I can't even budget for groceries. All those books, all those studies - speaking of pointless paper production, those people have perfected it to an art form. Hell, they even win Nobel Prizes for it.

If you're anything like me, you can do without the charts and graphs, the overabundance of obscure latinate terms, and the subtle and complicated influences on a market economy. Because many of you are like me, I have decided to sum up the whole mess of data and statistics and pompous speculation into something we all can understand, we mathematically and financially challenged peons that we are. Therefore, I hereby present to you -

Smoog's Comprehensive Economic Theory as channelled through Dick and Jane.

There's this group of people who have stuff. Then there's this other group of people who don't have stuff. The people who have stuff wanna keep it, and the people who don't have stuff wanna take it. Keep the people who don't have stuff without stuff long enough, they'll take your stuff. Then people with no stuff now have stuff, and people who had stuff don't have stuff anymore, and sometimes don't have heads or limbs or pulses either.

The people who have stuff usually get most of their stuff by taking a gazillion itsy bitsy bits of stuff from gazillions of people who don't have stuff. The people with stuff have to be careful not to take too much stuff from the people without stuff so that the people with stuff can keep their stuff (and heads and limbs and pulses). The people with stuff also try to take large amounts of stuff from other people who do have stuff. Of course, those other people with stuff are also trying to get large amounts of stuff by fucking around those people who also have stuff, thereby getting more stuff than their fellow have-stuff people from the people who don't have stuff. This means the people with stuff are often very edgy, what with all that worry about losing their stuff (and possibly heads and limbs and pulses) either to a whole bunch of pissed-off people with no stuff or all their supposed fellow friends who also have stuff, the bastards.

Things would all be hunky dory and everything would generally keep from getting really fucked up if all these people with or without stuff generally behaved rationally. They don't. So then people with big law degrees keep the crazy people from getting more stuff by using crazy shit like, oh, child labour, slavery, war, and underhanded secret stuff that a lot of people, with or without stuff, will do if they think they can get away with it.

What the people with big law degrees choose to do with all those people all depends on how much they trust everyone's sanity. If the law people trust people not to do crazy shit, then they back off and let the people do their stuff. If they fully anticipate that people will do all kinds of crazy shit, they get out their law books and their scorecard and occasionally a bomb or two and they make sure no one does any crazy shit to get stuff. Problem is, the people with big law degrees are known to do some crazy shit too, and then it all just goes to hell in a fucking handbasket.

The end.


make idle gossip (9 comments so far)

come hither - back off


Last 5 entries:
01.14.2007:Finally, a support group we can all get behind
01.09.2007:The City That Ever Reeks
01.08.2007:Waiter, there's a uterus in my soup
01.03.2007:Long Lost Mummy of Nefertiti Found in Smoog's Apartment
12.30.2006:New Year's resolutions we can actually keep



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