Tell me when this gets annoying: AAAAGHABAKKASHMEEEEP!
03.19.2005

Hey, how do you like the new look for March 19? I call it the "rhomboid chasm" look. You can just call it "a lot of empty boxes and where the fuck are all the images" theme.

As Andrew struggles once again to recreate a site with umpteen zillion users, to kill time I decided -- what the hell, let's see just how far I can take an old joke before I start receiving death threats and dead animals in the mail. Therefore, I hereby present the rest of you waiting populus with --

Oh God, Not More Diptionary Shit


amoreba (n.) - Lovesick Italian parasite.

angoraphobia (n.) -- Fear of fuzzy sweaters.

apratment (n.) - Residence infested with giant wankers.

arashnophobia (n.) -- Fear of spotty people.

argasm (n.) -- Intense pleasure for pirates.

asparagas (n.) -- (No definition required.)

asparagist (n.) -- Subliminal communication via the manner one waves their vegetables around on a fork while chatting.

beatnit (n.) - One with as much poetic talent as insect larvae.

cardvark (n.) -- Poker-playing anteater.

carnivole (n.) - Man-eating rodent.

catestrophe (n.) - A person who bombs at every single exam they ever take.

cheatah (n.) -- Large, swift-running cat who waits for the other cats to take down prey, then brags to all his friends that he did it.

clandustine (adj.) -- Of dust bunnies that secretly reproduce under one's bed.

conspituous (adj.) -- Made noticeable by excessive drooling.

creamation (n.) -- Death by Cool Whip.

endorkement (n.) -- Offers of support and validation from the kind of people you wish wouldn't.

flummixed (adj.) -- Baffled by food processors.

guardvark (n.) -- Vicious anteater employed for protection.

happensdance (n.) -- A chance outburst of the funky chicken.

hardvark (n.) -- A petrified anteater.

hickey (n.) -- A Canadian winter sport that pits skaters against each other in a battle of lips.

insurant (n.) --Tantrum thrown by claimant upon being denied coverage.

Klaustrophobia (n.) -- Fear of Germans.

lackadazical (adj.) -- Lazy as a result of heavy pot use.

languich (n.) -- An abandoned sandwich.

lardvark (n.) -- An anteater with a glandular problem.

machiapetlian (adj.) -- of one who plans world domination through the cunning use of alfalfa sprouts.

macremé (n.) -- The artistic knotting and weaving of French desserts.

meateorite (n.) -- Partially digested sausage propelled from a choking victim after the Heimlich maneouvre.

morkgage (n.) -- Alien IOU.

moussaki (n.) -- An alcoholic beverage made from fermented ground lamb and eggplant.

oftspring (n.) -- Children from Irish Catholic families.

origamy (n.) - Intricate folding into artistic shapes of dirty underwear.

pacnic (n.) -- Outdoor consumption of poltergeists.

pedarogue (n.) -- A schoolteacher who finally snaps and runs around the hallways throwing dictionaries and screaming, "IT'S NOT ITS, IT'S NOT ITS!!!"

Philistine (n.) -- One who thinks quotes from Dr. Phil are deeply meaningful.

relegion (n.) -- Annual permit renewal for Satan's minions.

riposuction (n.) -- Weight loss through goring by wild animals.

rococoa (n.) -- Ornate use of marshmallows in French hot chocolate.

sarchasm (n.) -- The immense gap between how much biting wit someone thinks they have and how much they actually do.

slingshit (n.) -- Medieval weapon used by low-income kingdoms.

Streep throat (n.) --Respiratory infection caused by faking too many accents.

telescape (n.) -- 1) Fashion accessory for astronomers. 2) Prison breakout planned by phone.

twindled (adj.) -- To be boondoogled into providing aid to an identical twin pretending to be their sibling, e.g. money, a shoulder to cry on, clothing, adoption, sex, marriage, murder for hire, etc.

Xenaphobia (n.) -- Fear of athletic women.


make idle gossip (1 comments so far)

come hither - back off


Last 5 entries:
01.14.2007:Finally, a support group we can all get behind
01.09.2007:The City That Ever Reeks
01.08.2007:Waiter, there's a uterus in my soup
01.03.2007:Long Lost Mummy of Nefertiti Found in Smoog's Apartment
12.30.2006:New Year's resolutions we can actually keep



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